Does it ever drive you nuts?
Sometimes the new year doesn’t seem so happy. It prompts me towards so much introspection I dread it. Whenever the new year is upon us, it makes us look at our goals, and wonder, “did I meet them? Am I where I want to be?”
There is often not a time that I want to give up as much as when the new year hits.
And so today I’m here to tell you: don’t look at your goals. It’s okay to re-evaluate. And it’s okay to start fresh. You don’t need to feel like a failure if 2013 didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to.
I put in 12 years of hard work before my ministry really took off. I second guessed myself so many times. I thought about throwing in the towel, but never really felt God releasing me. And then two years ago it was as if everything clicked, and my writing, my blogging, and my speaking has been soaring.
But if you had talked to me on any New Year in 2004, or 2006, or 2008, I would not have been so happy. I would have expressed a lot of doubt. Is this where I’m supposed to be?
One thing I really appreciated about Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers: The Story of Success, is how he said success is usually not due to chance. It’s due to practice. And it takes about 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert, a proficient, a “natural”. It definitely took that for me, and it will likely take that for you, too. We look at the Beth Moores and the Lysa Terkheursts and the “big names” in Christian speaking and writing and forget that they likely toiled for years before anyone knew their names.
If God has given you a passion, and if God has called you to something, then don’t quit just because it’s taking a while to arrive there. Yes, wrestle with your calling. Yes, ask for it to be confirmed by a friend, or by mentors, or by pastors. Yes, ask for people to pray with you. But unless you feel a “releasing”, keep going.
Personally, I haven’t updated this blog very much recently because I’ve been so busy with my main blog, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, and with my writing and speaking. I have two (yes, TWO!) books due by June 30. And I have a big blog to keep going. But I do want to stay helpful to those of you who are just starting out. I would have LOVED to have had some help when I was starting.
One of my gifts at Christmas was a camera that takes great video, and I’m hoping to start some “vlogs” where I talk into the camera and help you all. If I have time, I hope to get to that soon.
But I’m also wondering what you want me to talk about. One idea I had was to talk more upfront about money. Any of you wonder how much you can make at this, or what to expect? I find that we often are embarrassed to talk money (although it’s never bothered me), but then if you’re starting in a field you have no idea what to expect. If anyone wants anything more practical, let me know.
Or do you want more spiritual, like how do you wrestle through your calling?
Let me know in the comments, and I’ll try to find time to write and encourage you!
Happy New Year!
Elaine Mingus (@SuperRadWriter) says
Sooooo enjoy your posts and honesty. I’m in the “not there just yet but working at it” boat…one day, though. And I’m sure it will be perfect timing for so many things when it does happen! 🙂
Elaine Mingus (@SuperRadWriter) says
Oh! And I’d like a little of both spiritual and practical things you’ve gone through in your journey!
Debbie says
Sheila, I need help with what to charge. I was remembering today that you had a post about this topic and I was going to search for it. I have my first “real” engagement in a few months. I owe the organization a quote next week. I also need to get a contract together. All of my engagements to date have been probono or small and I kept the fees small. Guidance in thus area would be great. Thank you.
Sure, Debbie. It’s right here. Hope that helps!
Brenda Colville Johnson says
Talking about money is a good thought. Here’s another thought. Fame. It feels like we have to pursue fame to be heard. God gave me a message, I wrote the book, I pursued publishing heavily and it seemed that at every turn I realized if you don’t have a ‘name’ they aren’t interested in investing in you. They want you to first not only write and speak, but to have a huge internet presence. (Spending too much time on the computer already.) While not feeling called to make this my entire life’s work, it leaves me stumped on how be obedient to share His message without making it my life’s work. Impossible?
That is such an excellent question! I’ve faced that conundrum myself, and it does make you supremely frustrated, doesn’t it? Let me think on it and try to dedicate a post to it soon!
Tamara says
HI Sheila,
So happy to have your thoughts and direction on anything! Fifteen years ago when I had 20 years of speaking under my belt I was extremely disappointed that I had no real way to market myself. Hiring an agent was about it. Now, after taking a local job and not speaking for fifteen years to raise my son, I am happy to say “it’s a whole new world”! You are so right about sticking to something, God has a plan, and we don’t want to miss out just because we give up too soon! I’m happy to be back in the saddle again, and have you as caring mentor!
melindaruth says
Great post, thank you for your voice! It definitely seems like as a woman with a message its a swim against the current. Not only are you faced with resistance from churches, ministries or family, but then there are even women in the congregation who would rather compete than co-labor. It seems its a daily struggle to accept your calling, stand in Gods faithfulness and resist doubt when all you really want to do is be encouraged, supported and allowed to flourish. I will continue to seek your voice as words of wisdom and experience. Thank you!
You know, that’s really interesting. I think that the way that church is set up, it’s almost like women HAVE to compete with one another in order to use our gifts, because there aren’t very many natural outlets. Churches need to be set up much better to allow people to use gifts, not just to use people with the right credentials (or gender).
melindaruth says
Amen! Im ready to shift our culture and create a church body that celebrates and nurtures the essential presence of woman and then releases her into her calling! xoxoxo
Carla Burrows says
Marketing, Money, and Spiritual
Sarah Gorsuch says
Thank you so much for the encouragement and tips you offer! I love reading your material. 🙂
I loved the thought that we not stop unless we feel God releasing us. 🙂 that was something I will fix upon, as I feel such a HUGE burden and call, but wrestle constantly and doubt and question whether this is all my own pride and selfish ambition. :/ So more articles on wrestling with the call would be a huge encouragement!!! Blessings to you! And thank you for not only leading well but investing in rising leaders. 🙂
Book recommendation: Leaders Who Last by Dave Kraft. Soooo good! 🙂 I’m reading it now! 🙂
Jamie says
Thank you for your willingness to share your thoughts and experiences.
I was struggling with whether or not to keep pursing this, but you helped me when you stated that we shouldn’t stop unless we feel God releasing us. I would love to hear more of what you have to say from a spiritual perspective.
Again, thank you.
CarolOCasey (@CarolOCasey) says
Sheila your words resonated with me-second guessing, throwing in the towel are thoughts I am familiar with. Doubts pound my mind like tidal waves, whereas successes in my minstry flow in slowly.Thanks for the inspiration to carry on until we feel released from our ministry. Blessings.
jennymdJen says
Hello, I just came upon your site. I’ve been leading the women’s bible study, in my church, for a while now. Now I feel like God is asking me to step out more but where do I start? Should I start a blog? Not quite sure how to go about this.
Hi Jenny! So glad to see you here.
In terms of where to start, I send out a newsletter every few weeks with links to things to help you as you start, including how to market, how to craft a talk that changes lives, how to incorporate Scripture and the gospel presentation in your talks, and more. You can sign up for that newsletter here:
http://sheilawraygregoire.com/speaker-training/speaker-training-newsletter/
Here’s a blog post that tells you the first steps to take:
http://christianwomensspeaker.wordpress.com/2011/01/29/beginning-your-speaking-ministry/
I hope that helps! And please join our Facebook Page, where you can always ask questions (and get quite a few ideas, too)!
https://www.facebook.com/Christian.Speaker.Training
Ereletheia Allen says
Hi! I just stumbled upon your blog and this is exactly what I’ve been looking for. Thank you! I’ve been feeling that God has been leading me to do speaking and there is so much useful information on your site.